Swing Time

Dear Child Protective Services,

I want to apologize for traumatizing my child on the swings the other day. In my defense, I didn't really know how much they would scare her. I mean, the first time we put her on a swing, she seemed to really enjoy it.


So how was I to know how skeptical she'd be when we tried it again?
Also in my defense, there were times when she seemed to think it was OK.

And I thought if I kept pushing, she'd change her mind about it. And after all, good parenting involves giving your child new experiences.

Although I do apologize for that one big push I gave her...


where she almost toppled out.

And for abandoning her on the torture device so I could attempt an artsy wide-angle shot with the camera. It will never happen again.


But I want you to know that I came right back the VERY MOMENT she started to cry.


And that when Lulu made this face

I took her right home.

And while we are apologizing for things, I am sorry for those three episodes of Big Rich Texas I made her watch with me while we snuggled on the couch afterward. It didn't really seem to affect her all that much...


But I know that you are afraid I have done lasting harm to her tender psyche. Sorry for that, too. I promise you I will do my best to make sure my daughter does not grow up to abuse facial fillers.

But even if she does, I promise not to mock her. (Much.)

Thanks for understanding!

Until next time,

Cath