Dear Child Protective Services,
I want to apologize for traumatizing my child on the swings the other day. In my defense, I didn't really know how much they would scare her. I mean, the first time we put her on a swing, she seemed to really enjoy it.
So how was I to know how skeptical she'd be when we tried it again?
Also in my defense, there were times when she seemed to think it was OK.
And I thought if I kept pushing, she'd change her mind about it. And after all, good parenting involves giving your child new experiences.
Although I do apologize for that one big push I gave her...
where she almost toppled out.
And for abandoning her on the torture device so I could attempt an artsy wide-angle shot with the camera. It will never happen again.
But I want you to know that I came right back the VERY MOMENT she started to cry.
And that when Lulu made this face
I took her right home.
And while we are apologizing for things, I am sorry for those three episodes of Big Rich Texas I made her watch with me while we snuggled on the couch afterward. It didn't really seem to affect her all that much...
But I know that you are afraid I have done lasting harm to her tender psyche. Sorry for that, too. I promise you I will do my best to make sure my daughter does not grow up to abuse facial fillers.
But even if she does, I promise not to mock her. (Much.)
Thanks for understanding!
Until next time,