September 14, 2011

Swing Time

Dear Child Protective Services,

I want to apologize for traumatizing my child on the swings the other day. In my defense, I didn't really know how much they would scare her. I mean, the first time we put her on a swing, she seemed to really enjoy it.

So how was I to know how skeptical she'd be when we tried it again?
Also in my defense, there were times when she seemed to think it was OK.

And I thought if I kept pushing, she'd change her mind about it. And after all, good parenting involves giving your child new experiences.

Although I do apologize for that one big push I gave her...

where she almost toppled out.

And for abandoning her on the torture device so I could attempt an artsy wide-angle shot with the camera. It will never happen again.

But I want you to know that I came right back the VERY MOMENT she started to cry.

And that when Lulu made this face

I took her right home.

And while we are apologizing for things, I am sorry for those three episodes of Big Rich Texas I made her watch with me while we snuggled on the couch afterward. It didn't really seem to affect her all that much...

But I know that you are afraid I have done lasting harm to her tender psyche. Sorry for that, too. I promise you I will do my best to make sure my daughter does not grow up to abuse facial fillers.

But even if she does, I promise not to mock her. (Much.)

Thanks for understanding!

Until next time,



  1. You make that poor baby girl watch Big Rich Texas???? :)

  2. Ah, swings. First they hate them, then you can't get them off. You just never win with them.

  3. Big Rich Texas deserves a Pulitzer Prize. In the category of AWESOME.